A group of confused huntsmen who came to the UK on business shot an entire flock of sheep thinking they were fair game.
While visiting the country, the men decided to try the delights of the British countryside and went on a private shoot – with the equipment provided by the landowner.
He gave them guns and hunting dogs, and offered to guide the men, but was told that ‘true hunters hunt alone’ by the group’s translator – according to podcast Gossip Mongers.
Not wanting to offend them, the landowner agreed but things went terribly awry and the hunters ended up slaughtering an entire flock of sheep – lambs and all.
Reading the story on the Gossip Mongers podcast, comedian David Earl described how a listener had written in with the story, adding that the group had wanted to ‘experience the highlife of British culture’.
The listener said he had visited a posh friend who had an even posher boyfriend, who he referred to as Lance, who knew the landowner.
The listener didn’t know what a ‘shoot’ was, but after Lance’s description he understood it to be where ‘rich people wear tweed and murder pheasants for a laugh’.
He read out: “Usually the landowner accompanies the visiting party with his dogs who shake up the trees so the pheasants fly into the air, but on this occasion the landowner let them go on unaccompanied.
“Afraid of offending the group and their culture, the landowner gave them the dogs and allowed them to enter the grounds alone,” he explained.
Hours after the hunters set out, the translator returned saying the party had ran out of ammunition – but the landowner thought nothing of it.
Instead, he restocked the hunters and set them loose onto his grounds once again.
The story continued: “Eventually the group knocked on the door of the main house to return the guns and the landowner noticed with some amusement that they were empty handed.
“‘Didn’t manage to get any pheasants then?’ He asked them. ‘No’, said one of the Arabs, in excited but broken English. ‘But we did manage to shoot lots of those highland deer’.
“This was met with bemusement from the landowner, he didn’t own any deer and they weren’t even close to the highlands.
“Worried, he stepped outside of his house to the sight of two full fields of sheep with their heads blown off. Like a proper bloodbath.
“Clearly assuming that everything on the property was fair game, the true hunters had walked up to the docile sheep one by one and brutally executed them at point blank range. Stopping only to collect more ammo, with which I imagine they finished off the baby lambs for good measure.
“Anyway, in the end they left their brand new Range Rovers as payment.”